When I was a lot bigger I used to compete in drinking contests.
Stupid, I know, but I had an almost mutant ability for consuming beer, and I would go head-to-head with other idiots to see who could drink the most. It may surprise you to know I never almost died from alcohol poisoning, but on the other hand I put on about forty pounds in six months, and kept on getting bigger. I thought that quitting the contests would be enough to slow down my growth, but at this point I needed to make more radical changes, like exercise and dieting. I knew full well I didn’t have the discipline to do this, so I asked around for a good personal trainer to help me. I can be a very difficult person when I am stressed, so I needed a personal trainer who was tough, and wouldn’t take any crap from me. I finally settled on a mousy looking young woman named Emily, who had a fearsome rep as the toughest personal trainer in the entire gym. I have to say, Emily didn’t disappoint, and she laid out an ambitious workout program for me, along with a new nutritional plan she wanted me to follow. I came to learn that Emily is in AA and used to be a big drinker, so she likes pushing her clients towards total health and wellness, especially those of us who drink. Emily never tells me to not drink alcohol, but per personal training program usually leaves me too worn out to want a drink!